Talking To Your Kids About Going To Rehab

talking to your kids about going to rehab
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Why Have the Conversation?

As a parent, your children are your top priority. However, substance abuse and addiction can significantly impact your relationship with your partner or your child’s other parent, as well as your kids. It can leave you uncertain about how to navigate both as you approach addiction treatment and recovery. As a parent battling addiction, it is crucial to understand your direct responsibilities, and preparing your children should be a top priority before going to rehab.

Substance Abuse and Parental Responsibilities

Substance use disorders can impair your sense of responsibility. Depending on the severity of your alcohol or drug addiction, you may have struggled with not only caring for your child but also caring for yourself. Substance abuse and mental illness can make simple tasks such as personal hygiene, healthy eating, and maintaining a routine challenging, and children are more perceptive than we often give them credit for. Even if you believe your addiction has not affected your kids, seeking treatment at an addiction treatment center or through outpatient programs not only helps you but also benefits your children in the long run.

The Importance of Addiction Treatment

Treatment is one of the most effective ways to create genuine change that can lead to long-term recovery from substance use disorders. For individuals with alcohol abuse, drug addiction, or co-occurring mental health issues, a treatment program provides a break from the pressures and triggers of daily life, as well as a structured environment and opportunities for reflection, growth, and healing. Addiction treatment options like inpatient rehab, outpatient programs, and support groups can help you overcome substance abuse and become a better parent.

Preparing Your Child for Rehab

Before entering a drug rehab or treatment facility, it is your responsibility to prepare your child. One of your first tasks is explaining this journey to recovery and its purpose. Substance abuse has likely already impacted the relationship you have with your children. Whether you previously had a strained relationship or your addiction has caused you to be more absent than you would like, there is a chance your kids may already feel emotionally or physically neglected. That’s why it is crucial to make it clear that seeking treatment is different from experiencing substance use disorders; the ultimate goal is to become stronger and healthier for your family.

Sharing Responsibilities with Family Members

If you share parental responsibilities with a partner or your child’s other parent, have an open and honest conversation about how you’ll navigate your child’s care together while you are receiving addiction treatment. If you are a single parent, you’ll need to decide which family members or friends will share responsibility. It’s essential your children can maintain their current routine and structure as much as possible, and you’ll need to determine how they’ll get to school, meet with friends, and participate in extracurricular activities.

Having an Age-Appropriate Conversation About Addiction

Discussing substance abuse and mental health issues is rarely easy, and it can be tempting to avoid having a conversation with your children in favor of providing another excuse. However, your kids deserve to understand what is happening in your life. You don’t have to share all the details, and it’s important to keep the discussion age-appropriate. In general, being honest and upfront gives you a chance to acknowledge that you haven’t been at your best due to addiction. The conversation also gives your child the opportunity to express how your substance use has impacted their life.

Providing Reassurance and Emotional Support

This discussion is a crucial time to provide reassurance and emotional support. Without an honest conversation, your children can be left confused, hurt, and even frightened. To address these emotions, it’s important to mention that this time in rehab will provide you with the means to overcome addiction, improve your mental health, and become closer than ever before. Having this conversation can seem like the hardest step you’ve had to take yet, but it is essential for preparing your kids for what is ahead as you begin your journey to long-term recovery.

What Are Your Responsibilities As a Parent Before Going to Rehab?

Understand the Impact of Substance Use Disorders on Parenting

Substance abuse and addiction can distort your sense of responsibility. Depending on the severity of your alcohol or drug addiction, you may have struggled to care for your child and even yourself. Substance use disorders can make simple tasks like personal hygiene, healthy eating, and maintaining a routine challenging. Children are often more perceptive than we give them credit for, and even if you believe your addiction has not affected them, seeking treatment at a rehab facility or through an outpatient program can benefit both you and your kids in the long run.

Explain the Purpose of Addiction Treatment to Your Children

One of your first tasks is to explain to your children the purpose of your journey to recovery. It’s likely that substance abuse has already impacted your relationship with them. Whether you previously had a strained relationship or your addiction caused you to be more absent than you’d like, your kids may already feel emotionally or physically neglected. It’s crucial to make it clear that seeking treatment at an inpatient rehab, outpatient program, or addiction treatment center is different from experiencing substance use disorders; the ultimate goal is to become stronger and improve your relationship with your family.

Plan for Your Child’s Care During Rehab

If you share responsibilities with a partner or your child’s other parent, have an open and honest conversation about how you’ll navigate your child’s care together while you’re receiving addiction treatment at an inpatient rehab, outpatient program, or treatment facility. If you’re a single parent, you’ll need to decide which family members or friends will share responsibility. It’s essential that your children maintain their current routine and structure as much as possible. Determine how they’ll get to school, meet with friends, and participate in extracurricular activities.

Tips for Talking to Your Kids About Going to Rehab

Explain the Purpose of Addiction Treatment

Treatment is one of the most effective ways to create lasting change that can lead to long-term recovery from substance use disorders. For individuals with alcohol abuse, drug addiction, or co-occurring mental health issues, a treatment program provides a break from daily pressures and triggers, as well as structure and opportunities for reflection, growth, and healing.

Before going to rehab, it is your responsibility to prepare your child. One of your first tasks is explaining this journey to recovery and its purpose. It’s likely that substance abuse has already impacted your relationship with your kids. Whether you previously had a strained relationship or your addiction caused you to be more absent than you’d like, your children may already feel emotionally or physically neglected. That’s why it’s crucial to make it clear that seeking treatment is different from experiencing substance use disorders; the ultimate goal is to become a better parent and create a healthier life for your family.

Discuss Childcare Arrangements with Family Members

If you share parental responsibilities with a partner or your child’s other parent, have an open, honest conversation about how you’ll navigate your child’s care together while you receive addiction treatment. If you are a single parent, you’ll need to decide which family members or friends will share responsibility. It’s important your children can maintain their current routine and structure as much as possible, and you’ll need to determine how they’ll get to school, meet with friends, and participate in extracurricular activities.

Be Honest and Age-Appropriate When Talking to Your Kids

Discussing substance abuse and mental health issues is rarely easy, and it can be tempting to avoid having a conversation with your children in favor of providing another excuse. However, your kids deserve to understand what is happening in your life. You don’t have to share all the details, and it’s important to keep the discussion age-appropriate. In general, being honest and upfront gives you a chance to acknowledge that you haven’t been at your best due to addiction. The conversation also gives your child the opportunity to express how your substance use has impacted their life.

This discussion is a crucial time to provide reassurance and emotional support. Without an honest conversation, your children can be left confused, hurt, and even frightened. To combat these emotions, it’s important to mention that this time in rehab will provide you with the means to overcome addiction, improve your mental health, and become closer than ever before. Having this conversation can seem like the hardest step you’ve had to take yet, but it is essential for preparing your kids for what is ahead as you begin your journey to long-term recovery.

Plan What to Say When Talking to Your Kids About Rehab

Take some time to plan what you want to say as you talk to your children about going to rehab for addiction treatment. Feeling ready for the conversation and anticipating the emotions and questions you may encounter helps ensure you can remain as focused, calm, and open as possible. These tips can help you decide what to say and enter the conversation with a sense of purpose and confidence.

Choose the Right Time and Setting for an Honest Conversation

Timing can make a difference in the outcome of a conversation with your kids about seeking treatment for substance abuse. First, it is often best to wait until you can provide as many concrete details as possible, such as important dates that may work as milestones in your recovery journey.

In addition, consider the time of day and the setting of your conversation. You’ll want to make the discussion a clearly defined, important conversation between you and your child, but also choose a spot where they feel comfortable and relaxed. It is best to choose a quiet, comfortable setting free of distractions like the TV and interruptions from others. The right setting can help your children feel safe to be open and responsive to what you have to say.

Keep Explanations Simple and Age-Appropriate

Substance use disorders and the recovery process can be difficult concepts for even adults to understand. As a result, it’s important to narrow your focus to a level where your kids can comprehend what you want them to understand. Be simple and direct; you do not need to go into extensive detail when it comes to your addiction.

You’ll want to consider your child’s age and level of maturity to gauge how much information is necessary. Depending on the age of your child, you may want to compare addiction to something they understand, like the urge to overindulge in unhealthy things that feel good at first. Like junk food, for example, your substance of choice became too tempting and now endangers your health. Older kids can understand that now your body feels like it needs the substance to go on, which is making you sick – and you need professional help to stop that from happening.

Be Honest, Not Secretive About Addiction and Treatment

While you want to keep your conversation age-appropriate, it’s important to keep it honest. Misleading kids about what rehab is and what you’ll do there can create a sense of shame and secrecy around addiction and recovery. Since you’ll be in recovery for the rest of your life, it’s important to establish honesty now. Remind them that seeking treatment is a good thing, and you are doing it because you love them and want to be the best parent possible.

Describe the Addiction Treatment Center

Do what you can to describe the rehab facility you are going to and what goes on there. This helps to provide an understanding that you are going somewhere that will be safe and comfortable. Take the time to explain that you will be working with doctors and therapists who can help you get better and learning from other people who are there to get help just like you. If possible, show your kids pictures or information from the website of the treatment center, and describe some of the different activities you’ll be participating in. This all helps to create an open, safe place where your child can ask you questions about addiction and recovery.

Reassure Them It’s Not Their Fault

For individuals struggling with substance use disorders, stress and other family life situations may be a serious trigger. However, it is important to reassure your kids that everyone experiences stress in multiple areas of their lives. They did not cause your substance abuse, nor can they control or cure it.

Unfortunately, some children find fault in themselves and may feel responsible for their parent’s addiction. As a parent, it is your responsibility to reassure them that you alone are responsible for all things related to your substance use disorder and the medical conditions it has caused. Take ownership of the situation and apologize for any pain this situation may have caused in their life.

Engage in a Two-Way Conversation About Addiction and Recovery

As you’re giving your child the necessary information about your substance abuse and treatment, ask open-ended questions to engage them in a two-way conversation. The ability to ask their own questions can encourage your kids to provide feedback so you’ll know what they are thinking and feeling as the conversation progresses. Answering their questions also ensures they’ll have a better understanding of what will happen when you go to rehab. Be sure to check in on their emotions to show that you value what they have to say and how they feel about the recovery process.

Be Prepared for Various Reactions

Depending on the age of your children, your relationship with them, and the circumstances in your household, the way they react to your discussion about seeking addiction treatment can vary. Your kids could react with enthusiasm that you are finally seeking help, they could be angry that it has taken you so long, or they may just accept what you are saying without much reaction at all. Be prepared to handle some tears and provide guidance through confusion, but also be prepared to be met with skepticism, especially if you have attempted recovery from substance abuse before.

End on a Positive Note

It is likely that this conversation about your addiction and treatment will have its ups and downs. Emotions are often at an all-time high, and depending on the age of your child, it can be difficult to ensure they understand what is happening. Whatever course the conversation takes, try to end on a positive note. Provide reassurance of hope and healing. Let them know that you love them and that you are going to work hard in rehab so you can be happy, healthy, and prepared to be the best parent possible in recovery.

Talk About Changes to Their Routine

Childcare Arrangements During Rehab

Let your kids know who will be responsible for caring for them during your time in addiction treatment. This could be a family member, close friend, or professional caregiver. Provide details on where they’ll stay and how their needs will be met while you focus on your recovery.

School and Activities During Your Time in Rehab

Explain how your children will get to and from school, daycare, or any extracurricular activities while you are in rehab. Identify the person(s) who will handle these responsibilities and ensure your kids know what to expect regarding transportation and supervision during your absence.

Schedule Updates for Your Kids

Create a calendar or written schedule outlining any changes to their typical routines, such as mealtimes, bedtimes, or other daily activities. This visual aid can help your children feel more secure and prepared for the temporary adjustments while you are in addiction treatment.

Communication Plan During Treatment

Discuss how you’ll stay in touch with your kids during your time in rehab, whether through phone calls, video chats, or letters. Provide them with a general timeline for your absence, but remind them that the duration may vary based on your progress in addiction treatment and recovery.

Talk About What Happens in Rehab

Explaining Rehab to Young Children

For toddlers and young children, use simple language and focus on the present moment when discussing your addiction treatment. You could say something like, “Mommy needs help to get better, and I will come back when I’m all better.” Young kids may notice changes in your behavior, so you can ask them about their observations and provide a basic explanation of substance use disorders and the need for professional help.

Discussing Rehab with Older Children and Teens

Older children and teenagers likely have some understanding of addiction, even if you’ve tried to be discreet. Explain substance use disorders as a disease that requires treatment to overcome. Take responsibility for how your behavior has changed, and reassure them that you’ll receive round-the-clock care in rehab to get better. Provide an estimated timeline for your absence, and let them know you’ll keep them updated on your progress in recovery.

Addressing Concerns and Providing Reassurance About Treatment

Children may worry or imagine frightening scenarios when they lack information about addiction treatment. Explain what happens in rehab in an age-appropriate manner. For younger kids, you can say you’ll be going to a place where doctors will help you get better. Older children may want more details about the rehab facility, therapies, and treatments. Reassure your children that you’ll be safe and cared for, and emphasize that you’re getting help to be a better parent because you love and care for them deeply.

Conclusion

Drug Detox and Rehab aims to provide you with relevant and current information about substance abuse and addiction treatment options. Our mission is to guide you towards a healthier life, free from the grip of alcohol and drug dependency. Whether you or a loved one is struggling, our online resource can serve as a catalyst for positive change. We offer information on inpatient and outpatient programs, individual and group therapy, medication-assisted treatment, and support for co-occurring mental health disorders. Remember, each visit brings you one step closer to recovery. Let us embark on this healing journey together.

Medically Reviewed By

Thomas Walker
Learn about Thomas Walker

Dr. Thomas Walker, a seasoned Addiction Treatment Specialist and Psychiatrist, has dedicated his life to providing compassionate care to the Charleston community. Born and raised in Columbia, South Carolina.

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